Dennis Kalimbira quotes the ‘Nation’ Newspaper.
Peter and Tiwonge (Not real names) three years ago tied a knot in a very colourful wedding ceremony, attended by big shots and have one child. In celebrating their third year marriage anniversary, they went to test their serostatus again. When the results came out, they were shocked!
Before the wedding they both tested non-reactive twice in a space of three months.
The above scenario might shock those of us who think married people are safe from HIV and AIDS.
The Nation Newspaper (One of the local papers in Malawi) of Tuesday July 7 2009 carried a story in which the Secretary for Nutrition and HIV and AIDS in the office of the President and Cabinet Dr. Mary Shawa revealed that “Recent mathematical models are indicating that most of new infections in Malawi are coming from the so-called stable and long-term sexual relationships, including marriages.” This revelation indicates that there is infidelity in marriages and the responsibility of protecting oneself is ignored at one point in their married life. Where do things go wrong?
In some cases lack of basic necessities like food drives a woman to out with other men who can secretly provide for her. Unfortunately women in Malawi grew up to think only men are decision makers so they do not negotiate for safer sex.
Heavy drinkers who become useless in bed also drives their spouses to seek pleasure outside marriage. Alcohol impairs judgment which makes people to forget their responsibility of protecting themselves and their spouses. Sometimes spouses are unsatisfied with their spouses’ performance. This entice them to find solace outside matrimonial home. In families people do not perform satisfactorily because of lack of knowledge of how to perform in such a way. And infertility also drives families to seek the services of ‘Fisi’ (Hyena) for fear of being ridiculed by society of being ‘Osabereka’ (Infertile). Sometimes a woman would find a man without her husband’s knowledge to father her children.
These situations risk families to get HIV and AIDS.
To solve these problems it is suggested that families needs to take responsibilities of finding basic necessities by working hard and have small and manageable families. Government should continue with policies that enhance social-economic growth to alleviate poverty. Women should be empowered to initiate negociation for safer sex.
There should also be continued efforts to educate people on effective ways on how to achieve safe sex if being faithful to one partner is compromised. Education should base on partner protection. This can only be achieved by establishing family friendly reproductive services where families can get counselled on sexuality issues, conjugal satisfaction and home-making to keep couples at home. People should have where they can take their family grievances concerning sex satisfaction to in confidence. Churches also must assist in this matter.
People on the move-drivers, people attending workshops and those who go to school leaving their families should be continually reminded and counselled on their responsibilities of protecting their spouses and themselves and provided with ways on how to achieve this.
These might not be the only situations where things go wrong and ways to correct them. A comprehensive research has to be instituted to unearth more than what meets the eye and collectively find solutions before the marriage bed transforms into death bed.
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we surely need to.